So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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