I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
