Can Purell be used as lube?
it was like eating out sand paper
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
