Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
