so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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