the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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