If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
