Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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