It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
