we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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