I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
