Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
