Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
