The police scanner is talking about you again....
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
