bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
