The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
