I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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