can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
