he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
