That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
