Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
