there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Actions speak louder than pants.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
