I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
