apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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