i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
