I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
