i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
