thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
