would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
