I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
