why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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