I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
