Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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