Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
