Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Randomize