im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
