evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
