i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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