I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
