I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My butt remains clenched, sir.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
