I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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