At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
