so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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