She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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