she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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