WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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