I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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