DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
