i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
