oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
