nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we're making bets on your personal life
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
