he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
