lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize