I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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