the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
