Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
