Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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