We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
