Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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