btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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