he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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