Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize