he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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