What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
