apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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