you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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