I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
