she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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