maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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