Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
