i think my tv is drunk
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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