I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
All I want is dick and wine.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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