Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
